30+ Funny Retirement Wishes Messages and Greetings

A retired husband is a full-time job for his wife. Congratulation and happy retirement!

Now that you're retired, what are you going to do with all that free time? Can I fill your Tuesday with a cup of coffee and gossip? Enjoy your retirement!

You're going to enjoy retirement -- you've never taken a day off work, and there's no taking a day off in retirement either. Happy retirement!

I know everyone is congratulating on your retirement, but deep down inside, we're just glad you're leaving. Just kidding! We'll miss you around here! Happy retirement!

The thing no one tells you is that retirement is nothing more than an illusion -- when you retire your spouse becomes your new boss, and your grandkids become your full-time coworkers. Happy retirement!

Congratulations on your retirement! I'm just a phone call away when you get bored!

Welcome to the next stage of your life, where every day is a weekend. Congrats!

The world doesn't stop when you leave the office, it's only starting. Now, you've just got the best career ever, flexible hours, off on weekdays and weekends. Enjoy your new retirement career.

They say life starts at the age of 40. But the fact is, it truly begins with your retirement. Now you have the luxury of doing all the things you've always wanted to do. Congratulations on this exciting new chapter ahead!

Now you can stay in your pajamas all day long, lie in bed as much as you want, and stay at home without any calls from work. All the best and congratulations on your retirement.

Retirement — the only time in your life when it's all right to spend your entire life savings. Congratulations, you did it!

I have to say that the highlight of our day was the time spent annoying you. We're going to miss you! Happy Retirement.

Now you can finally fix everything that needs to be repaired in your house until you're out of things to do! Happy retirement!

Now, you can enjoy unlimited time of golfing, leisurely strolls around town, cooking your favorite foods.... unless you want to switch, maybe? Happy retirement!

From now on, you don't have to put off the things you've been wanting to do. Retirement is a time to live life to the fullest and embrace complete freedom. Happy retirement!

You're retiring, huh? Now, how in the world are we going to update you with all the office gossip? You're going to need all the juicy details at least once a week.... Thank you for everything! Congrats on your retirement, and don't be a stranger!

Retiring doesn't mean we're going to lose touch. I'm going to keep you updated on the latest news so check your email every day! Better yet, let's have dinner once in a while. I'm going to miss you, and congratulations on your well-deserved retirement.

Retirement isn't as enjoyable as it sounds; no pressure, no managers to listen and no deadlines. Retirement can be horrible. You should think about taking me with you so you don't get too bored.

Congrats on your retirement! It's been terrific working with you. Have fun, relax, and avoid work at all costs!

Remember to give your old friend a call when you get tired of your two new best friends, the bed and living room sofa.

Retiring doesn't mean you're going to stop hanging out with us for coffee once in a while... Happy retirement!

A life without daily traffic jams and paperwork. Welcome to the rosy life, my friend. Happy retirement to you.

Congratulations… Now the real fun begins! Best wishes for your next chapter in life.

Now that you're retired, it's always time to go fishing. Enjoy your trips to the lake.

Welcome to the next level of your life: every day is Sunday. Congrats on your retirement!